set phasers to stun
Thursday, May 28, 2009 by jasmine
after two days at my internship, i have determined that this job, as crucial as it is, being that it functioned as my way to not only escape from witch mountain, but also provides me with invaluable professional experience, will also be a trial of my character. it is unpaid. which is quite unfortunate for someone like me, who is obsessed with shopping, has an affinity for eating at restaurants that do not have a dollar menu, and enjoys going to movies. by taking this position, i willingly sacrificed things that sustain me. i'm embracing an ascetic lifestyle. i sleep on an air mattress. there's no furniture in my room. i don't have any dishes. out of financial burden, i have taken on a pretty minimalist, somewhat ascetic lifestyle. all i've eaten in the last few days is fast food. at this juncture, all of this is fine, but i'm wondering if it will still be fine in a few weeks. at this point, i still have a little surplus, which will allow me to at least be able to enjoy this seemingly awesome, but hecka pricey metropolis for a little while. but eventually, if i don't find a job that i will be inspired to go to at night/weekends, then i'm, for almost all intents and purposes, screwed.
this is the perfect post-graduation summer. if i survive this, i'm going to have boundless confidence. it will be a time that i will be able to look back on when i'm not contemplating selling various organs with humbling pride.
also. i really, really, really need to make friends. my fellow interns seem nice enough, but they're not exactly the kind of people i want to frolic with in my free time. the friend i'm living with is cool, but we're sort of in different places in our lives. so it's a little bit uncomfortable spending more than a few minutes with her at any given moment. i've never been good at cultivating friendships, and it's a billion times harder when the pool of potential friendlies is a lot smaller.
however, despite my concerns, despite my days that drag on for several eternities i am still optimistic, and i think everything will work itself out. i'll get numb to the tediousness, i'll make friends, i'll make that money. but even if it doesn't, even if everything falls apart and i crumble along with it, i can put myself together again. no big. wouldn't be the first time.
it's very weird to feel emotional these days. it's not as fulfilling as it once was. oh, no, don't tell me i'm growing up.
this is the perfect post-graduation summer. if i survive this, i'm going to have boundless confidence. it will be a time that i will be able to look back on when i'm not contemplating selling various organs with humbling pride.
also. i really, really, really need to make friends. my fellow interns seem nice enough, but they're not exactly the kind of people i want to frolic with in my free time. the friend i'm living with is cool, but we're sort of in different places in our lives. so it's a little bit uncomfortable spending more than a few minutes with her at any given moment. i've never been good at cultivating friendships, and it's a billion times harder when the pool of potential friendlies is a lot smaller.
however, despite my concerns, despite my days that drag on for several eternities i am still optimistic, and i think everything will work itself out. i'll get numb to the tediousness, i'll make friends, i'll make that money. but even if it doesn't, even if everything falls apart and i crumble along with it, i can put myself together again. no big. wouldn't be the first time.
it's very weird to feel emotional these days. it's not as fulfilling as it once was. oh, no, don't tell me i'm growing up.
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I know you'll make it. You're much much stronger than you think. Also, what is your address? I want to write you letters from Englandlandlandland <3 I miss your faaaaaace a lot, a lot.