i'll never be picture perfect beyonce

sigh. so i haven't written every day like i had wanted. basically, it's because i've been engaging in activity that is kind of shameful, and i don't feel comfortable describing it. i've been flirting with scandal in the worst ways, and it's so out of character. but at the same time, i've felt much more stimulated these last couple of weeks than i have all summer. so i don't regret any of it at all.

and i need to find another job by august 20th. no big.